Reflecting on the past year, and envisioning the next.

Who inspires me to grow?

All of the podcast interviewees and hosts from the episodes I subscribe to. Indiehackers thatf are successfully generating revenue from their bootstrapped software, website, or content.

What new skills did I learn or master?

I learned how to juggle 2 balls in one hand, and 4 balls (although this I haven't mastered yet).

I lowered my golf handicap, and am more consistent with my irons. Mainly attributable to being more relaxed in my swing.

I learned how to invest money in Robinhood, and Yotta. I had never taken the opportunity to until the pandemic hit.

What am I most proud of?

I'm proud of winning 1st place for the ACL MENTAL Challenge. It happened over the course of 6 months, entirely remote, with members of the team that did not know each other. It all began with a cold email to the Virginia NWD director. Then it was a matter of consistently meeting on Fridays at 2pm.

I learned AWS Personalize, Airtable, Algolia, VideoAsk, among subjects like Social Isolation (and all the literature surrounding it).

What challenged me most? What were the biggest obstacles I overcame?

Adjusting to working at home, living with distractions (my smartphone, my mom singing, dad practicing golf swings) and not having the sense that anyone is looking over my shoulder (as there would be at the office).

Trying to max out the number of pushups in a single day.

The most difficult thing was working with teammates, and constantly mulling over my head the matter of splitting equity fairly. I teeter-tottered between paranoia, and rationality.

During the design hackathon, I felt this urge to lead and take 'control'. But when I relaxed and didn't try to win every micro-decision in my favor, it went smoother. You have to give ground on your vision, to reduce the number of forks in the road.

What did I invest in?

I started a relationship with my girlfriend Sarah Park. Hi Sarah >< I haven't had a proper girlfriend since university, and to be honest I'm a bit rusty. I think I was a certain type of boyfriend in university, and am coming to terms that although I've changed, that doesn't necessarily mean I've grown as a potential mate.

Sure I have more confidence, money, and maturity... but do I have caring, selflessness, commitment? The latter attributes are things I haven't had many reps at, or experienced a human being's very real feelings on the other end.

What risks did I take and what were the rewards?

I bought at the low point of the stock market. And so far I've netted $1700.

I decided to do the government challenge in my free time, and my team won 350k in prize money.

What were my top 3 peak moments?

Hearing over the phone from Lori Gerhard that our team won.

Movie night with my girlfriend.

Winning the design hackathon via youtube livestream at Caboose Brewery.

Sinking long putts, holing out a 40 yard chip.

Playing golf with my friends at UMD, smoking cigars, drinking, eating.

What were my biggest failures and what did I learn from them?

1. Rohan and I didn't win the GSA EULA challenge. We had very little time, and it didn't feel that bad to lose because I learned about BERT and pagemap npm package.
2. I suppose all the dates I met via apps that didn't lead to much. But I don't regret them because I validated that I am desirable on the dating market, and realized what it would take for me to commit. Communication trumpts looks, and as obvious as that sounds, communication is primarily text in the match phase until you're in person. And real life relationships are in person, duh.
3. Losing my cool in Shenandoah Valley while playing golf with my mom and dad. I acted like a pure ass because I was so intent on hitting in the single digits that when I started hitting poorly I spun out of control. I blamed others for my own faults, because being angry felt better than being dissapointed in myself, or facing the reality that I'm not at a skill level I forced myself to be at.
4. I accepted the second engagement of Ben Greiner's freelance gig too quickly. I should have outsourced it ahead of time, or just flat out said no. It's hard to balance keeping relationships versus burning bridges. Although for the most part I think its somewhere in between, and just fizzles out.

Who or What did I lose? How did I handle that?

When I lost the first EDU.gov redesign challenge, I initially shrugged it off so it wouldn't bruise my ego. But I know that my design wasn't up to par. Coincidentally my previous employer won. I started rationalizing it, "Oh, its an entire agency against little old me.". But i knew that setting out and its just an excuse to make me feel better about myself.

I set out to find the next challenge almost immediately. I should probably take more time to re-assess my process and productivity before setting out again.

More literally, when I thought I lost my headphones or beesize stand controller, I got irksome. Its so small and wireless that it will fall out of any pocket. I need to put things in the same place where I can expect them to be. I need to chain them or attach them to other things I already have a habit of carrying around. Similar to habits and keystone/cornerstone habits, anchoring them together to the main ship. Whenever you introduce new small things into your life.

There was the sting of the amount of money lost, I did a quick mental calculation of course. But its also feeling dumb and stupid. Wondering who found it, and relying on the kindness of others. Having to repeat the purchase, being wasteful.

Assessment

1 being "Not fulfilled", 10 being "Exceptional"

Visualization

Who/Where I want to be at the end of the year

I want to be writing next year, making another plan and taking regular time to reflect daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly.

I would like to have my own home, and set up my own workstation/studio to be more productive.

I would like to be at a job that respects my side hustle. I will no longer need a car for commuting. I will compound my savings by controlling my budget and portfolio.

I would like to spend time with parents eating, golfing. With my girlfriend exploring new places and doing new things together, watching new movies. With my church friends playing golf and other group activities that bring me joy. I would like to host a party at my new home.

I would like to achieve another challenge victory or major hackathon win. Or better yet, make some recurring revenue from a project of mine. Atleast 1k/mo Or sell an existing site I have for 3-5x revenue.

I don't ever want to lose my temper in 2021, even when pushed and in a contentious situation. I will take the high road and process it by letting the feeling bubble up and down.

In my free time I'd like to consume less podcasts/youtube, and produce more. I'd like to take care of my eye sight health, and continue the great habits like pushups and walking. I'd like to know my sleep health better, and improve it buy investing in things that help me sleep deeper.

1. Buy a home
2. Sleep deeper.
3. Make money as Individual or Team.
4. Play golf at new courses.
5. Travel internationally.
6. Don't lose temper.
7. Maintain strong relationship.
8. Write, produce, everyday. Less passive consumption.

What am I letting go of in 2020?

What am I walking away from?

I would like to move on from soheco.org and work on different projects. I am never going to commute again. I will own equity in the next "job" I take. Focus on the present, and not let the past or future dictate my mind.

Habits

Start

• write 250 words a day
  • gratitude
  • journal
  • process/update
  • ideas/notes from what I consumed
  • mental throwup, expression, mind dump
• Core exercise, leg raise? Find one that works best
• Newsletter edition every week!
• Launch atleast 3 different ideas/websites to ProductHunt
• Eat plant based diet more often

Continue

• Do 100-200 pushups a day, and max out 750
• Inbox Zero
  • clean desktop
• Make up bed
• Bruxism guard
• Floss at night
• Pomodoros Forest, 30 min increment

Stop

• Mindless scrolling through feeds
  • Instagram, Youtube, Twitch
• Playing games
• Feeling FOMO

One Word Anthem

I break my own rules here

• Process
• Consistent
• Motivation
• Persistent
• Memento Mori
• 1% Better Every Day
• Compound
• Automate, Set & Forget it

What terrifies you? Fear-setting

sub bullet points are how I can mitigate

• Not being able to pay my mortgage.
  • budget, see what 2k a month feels like
• Not finding a wife, not being able to commit, being tempted to cheat.
  • practice gratitude
  • reciprocate giving
  • don't want porn
• Losing my mom or dad.
  • make them eat healthier with me
  • shop for them
• I will be seen as a failure
  • be seen as a learner by sharing
  • continue trying other things, so you're seen as a quick bounce-backer

How will I step out of my comfort zone?

I will share personal details that may not always reflect myself in the best possible light. I will opt to tell the truth rather than a comfortable lie. I will push myself to be consistent in front of an audience, whether it be live or on the internet.

What permission do I need to give myself?

You have the permission to cold email or DM any person of interest to you. You have the permission to get out of the damn building/house and talk to customers. You have the permission to be agile and changes any of the goals I've set here.

What obstacles will I face and how will I overcome them?

There will be days where I don't follow through with my intentions, and I will get down on myself because of this. However, I must surpass dissapointment, and show self-compassion. Try to understand why I may have not delivered on what I promised. What was it that took my time instead? What is the next smallest actionable thing I can do. There is no way to make it up, just learn and trudge forwads.

Who in my life deserves more attention?

My new girlfriend Sarah. I think I rightly so value my dreams above here at this stage in the relationship, but I am becoming convinced that she loves me wholeheartedly. And anyone that can pour out such love to me, deserves not only more attention but love in return. Although she is a new addition in my life, I need to understand what I'm subtracting in her stead, and be ok with that.

Which existing relationships do I want to focus on?

My old high school small group leader Joe. My college freshman and sophmore roommates, although they live abroad. My friends Ben, and Austin who are getting married in the new year, who were gracious enough to invite me. My accountability/indiehacker buddies Seb and Ethan.

Who do I want to reconnect with?

I want to reconnect with Jackson and Peter, my freestyle rapping buddies from university. My childhood friend Jun, and adolescent besty Jiihn & Ridwan. Also Hyung-il Son who is probably abroad in Korea. While we're at it, why not my first proper girlfriend Gina who I very sloppily dumped while long-distance.

Who will I ask for help and support from?

Ben in the Vue DC Discord channel. My coworkers at MSC. My twitter followers and followees.

How can I create early wins and momentum?

Stay on track with habits. Get good sleep. Continue offloading ideas to my second brain. Purge and maintain a clean and empty slate.